Perhaps it is all my fault?

An opening of hell on earth

I needed to vent about my parents ...Release some tension
Pollute the world with the fluidity of my angst and pain.
And so below I vented...

I have no idea what the hell they are thinking.

Why is their immediate assumption that a sleep inducing drug will CURE the unresolved tension within my soul. Are we all so blinded by our Ego that there is no hope of redemption? Why can't they try to empathise with me and try and open their mind to the actual situation, a child, a daughter, a girl, a woman in immense spiritual pain. A growing ache to be understood, to be comforted, to be supported, to be listened to.

How did I manage to find myself in such a dire yet blissful state. I know I cannot ever understand what I have NOT experienced, any analytical, logical, though provoked mind will enquire and discover. Why do some choose to remain ignorant? Ignorance isn't bliss, it's hell on earth, it's disorder, insanity, in a crazed illusionary world. Why can't they admit to themselves that you can NEVER understand something you have not undergone.

Words are inadquate to describe feelings, emotions and soul. They are too often misinterpreted and spun into the opposite of their original meaning. LOST IN TRANSLATION. It's obvious by the amount of violence, aggression, horror, death by fellow man. How can there be so much passion and belief in things such as religion and each group as adamant as the other that they are correct?

When did humanity stop thinking for themselves?
There must be ONE ABSOLUTE TRUTH

When will I sleep?
Day 11 of restless nights

[PAUSE]

And then I thought, is it me, is it me who isn't trying hard enough to be compassionate and understand them and forgive and move on? Am I the selfish, spoilt, useless, stupid, untalented child I always believed I was growing up.